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On the other hand, neither he is socially isolated. Outgoing and expressive he does not stay alone long.

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During our two hour talk his smartphone rang several times from friends at school as well as a couple of messages from his current boyfriend. He has mostly straight friends and a few gay friends with whom he talks, studies, shops, and hangs with when not in class. I like European and American culture. I feel more French than Tunisian. This culture is too small for me. He plans to move to west Europe to complete his university studies in architecture, a decision that is fortunately supported by his parents.

They appear to understand that life for a gay son in Tunisia is restricted and potentially harmful. He has miles and years to go to fulfill his dream and keeping the dream alive will take patience and careful planning. He has been a European resident of Tunisia for the past seven years.

For Michel, things are busy, adventurous, historic and modern. He lives comfortably in a stylish 2-bedroom home fronting the Mediterranean that he shares with a dozen cats. Both acknowledge there is considerable same-sex non-gay activity that is easily accessed from the street or the internet. Tunisian society is liberal by Arab standards but far from publicly pro-gay. As much as they want sex, they are afraid of it, of being found out.

Because here hormones run high and money talks.

So began our chat in the dining room of his home with the windows open to the sea. With the sound of waves washing ashore, he spoke from the wisdom of his 72 years. He has lived in Europe, America and northern Africa. Tunisian men, especially younger unmarried men are willing to play around with same-sex but you cannot call them gay. They will not admit to it and they are not really. Homosexuality carries a strong stigma here and anyone caught will be carry that stigma for a long time.

A relative reported him to the police who came knocking to inquire. A bit a money sent them away with no evidence but in the family the rumor spread and he has twice been refused marriage by women in his home town. Such is the power of rumor and gossip in Tunisia.

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Inaccessible women brings alternative outlets for sexual relief. Even most homosexuals will deny they are gay. It simple means sexual relief. Bardo Museum of Tunis which houses one of the largest collections of Roman mosaics in the world. Afterwards, however, reactions vary for these men. Or it can be fear and paranoia for having transgressed the strong religious taboo against homosexuality.

Michel recounted one man with whom he once tricked who now completely avoids any eye or verbal contact. We were totally alone in my bedroom with no one here. There are many kinds and many situations. They are quite difficult to find since they are very secretive except with closest friends. And some Tunisian guys are willing to be gay-for-pay with foreigners.

As I said, money and hormones talk.

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As well, there are married guys who get it on with a friend or stranger once in a while out of sexual frustration with their wives. Michel told of a gay friend who brought home a non-gay acquaintance to watch hetero porno together and when the acquaintance got aroused, hot and bothered and a little drunk it was easy to invite him the bedroom. Every one has them. This reminded him to say that Tunisians and Arabs are very quiet when they climax as a result of their early life sexual experiences in the same bed with a cousin or a friend.


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A common social tradition when visiting relatives is a sleep-over with same genders sharimg a bed. Both male and female same-sex sexual activity are criminal acts up to three years in jail for private acts of sodomy. Are gays now more at risk since that revolution and the election of the Islamist party? There is no sign of this happening despite their success in the election.

Then there is the occasional hammam where men undress, get steamy, scrubbed down and perhaps a bit more if the price is met and a private alcove is available. It was nothing to write home about or include in this story. The two voices in this story are from opposite ends of the gay spectrum in Tunisia: Their reactions to me were different yet the same. To talk with Ari and Michel, however, nothing has changed much in the society since the revolution and their gay lives are casual, active and easy.

Neither is at a loss for friendships or dates since they use Facebook or Badoo. Both receive messages of inquiry for Michel or devotion for Ari from other Facebook users including foreigners who want to know more or locals who want to do more. Using online social media, the two men have developed a cadre of international and local acquaintances with whom they chat and occasional meet, but only up to a point.

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Ari is unusual in his discreet openness about his sexuality. But urban Tunis is more liberal, to a limited Arab degree, and secular than the rest of Tunisia—at the present time. He also thinks that gays are now less relaxed about cruising in public.